How learning about my menstrual cycles helped me manage my bipolar disorder

One stormy day, I called up my boyfriend at the time to share some bad news.  He answered the phone with “Let me guess, You want to break up? ”  How the hell did he know!?  “It’s not hard love.” he said.  You’ve been doing this every 30 days for the past year now. I’ve started tracking it on my calendar.  

I didn’t know what he was talking about.  Until a few years later when and started learning about my menstrual cycles.  

My first 10 years with bipolar disorder, i thought that 100% of my mood cycling was abnormal.  That there was something fundamentally wrong with me.  

Until I started learning about my menstrual cycles.  And realized that much of the “craziness” I had associated with my bipolar disorder is actually normal for women throughout the month!!! 

Just like the moon, it’s natural for our emotions to wax and wane throughout the month. Our menstruation, which usually lasts 3-7 days, is when we’re most tender.  We’re literally shedding a part of ourselves, and our soul is mourning the loss of a child that will never be born.  We naturally turn inward, and want to curl up and rest just like we do in the winter.  

While our period might not be the most fun moment of our cycle, it is our most intuitive time.  It’s a moment to connect to your inner wisdom, and find answers to those questions you’ve been searching the answers for.  

After our bleeding ceases, we start the next phase of our cycle, called the follicular phase.  This spring-like time, which leads up to our ovulation phase, lasts for about 5-7 days.  The follicular phase corresponds with increased energy, feeling more extroverted, and a flow of inspiration.  For us bipolar folks, it often feels like coming out of depression.  

The summer phase of our cycle is our ovulation, which usually lasts for about 2-4 days.  It’s when we’re bursting with energy, feeling confident and sexy, and as extroverted as we get! This is our species’ survival mechanism, motivating us to go out and get some loving since we’re as fertile as we’ll ever be.  For us bipolar folks, the ovulation phase corresponds with how we feel when we’re hypomanic. 

The final phase of our cycle, which spans from the end of ovulation until our next bleeding is called the luteal phase.  This is our Autumn phase, when our energy starts to wane, and we start turning inward.  It’s a great time to finish up the projects you started in your Springy follicular phase and start winding down.  

The few days before our period, its natural to feel more tender, emotional, and sensitive.  For those of us with bipolar, this can feel like the beginning phases of depression. 

Now if these cycles are normal, what makes our bipolar cycles “abnormal”? The difference is that normal mood cycles don’t endanger or damage that woman’s life, the way our bipolar cycles do if we don’t take medication.  “Normal” women are not plotting out their suicide when they’re menstruating.  

They might have more confidence and energy when they’re ovulating, but they’re not sleeping 2 hours a night, maxxing out their credit cards and driving their cars as fast as they can with no seat belt on.  In short, they don’t require mood stabilizing medication to keep them alive.   Lucky them! 

While learning about my moon cycles didn’t negate the fact that I have a mood disorder, it has helped me manage it.  Before, any time I felt my energy and confidence inflate, I feared I was getting manic.  Now, I can look at my period tracker and see that I’m just ovulating.  It’s all good! 

Same with depression.  Before, each month, when I would descend into the darkness before my period, I blamed myself and feared it would never end.  Now, I can look at my app and see that I’m about to menstruate, so of course I’m feeling gloomier than usual!  

Learning about my moon cycles also has helped me better pinpoint times when I’m actually going into hypomania or depression.  If I’m ovulating, but I have no energy and I’m suicidal, it’s a pretty good sign that I’m really depressed, and need to get some extra support. 

Similarly, if I’m bouncing off the walls when I’m menstruating, it’s a pretty good sign that I’m (hypo)manic for real, and need to start slowing myself down and ground myself to the earth.  

I invite you sister, if you’re not already tracking your cycle, to start today! There are tons of great apps which will give you so much wisdom about your unique body.  They’ll help you start worrying less each month and understanding that much of the fluctuations you used to attribute to bipolar are actually just part of being a woman.  

And when you’re experiencing swings more severe than this, or opposite to your menstrual cycles, you’ll feel even more confident and powerful reaching out for support.  

Sending you much love in your journey honoring yourself and your moon cycles